Things are about to get ugly at the Temple of Queen Athena. According to my Official Triathlon Training Plan, I should be able to swim four laps in a pool by now. The problem is I cannot swim even a quarter of one lap. This is because I cannot swim. Also I have the cardio fitness of a peanut.
Lucky for me my old running partner is also a former swimming instructor. She’s already seen my body parts jiggle in alarming and unnatural ways. She’s heard me wheeze and gasp for air. She knows I’m painfully slow. So we can skip all the self-conscious apologies and get right to the jiggling, wheezing, and gasping.
Even so, I’m nervous about it. I’ve never been comfortable in the water. And although my friend loves me jiggles and all, the rest of the world will stare at the extremely white lady in the giant purple swimsuit who’s floating like an enormous bouyant eggplant. Let’s face it: just showing up is incredibly hard. So yay me, even if I am a rotund floating vegetable.